I found this in Matthew Parris’ column in the Times today:
From The Times last week, headlined “Ceviche: the new sushi”: “Put down the maki rolls and sashimi, the hot new trend in raw fish is spicy South American ceviche - marinated prawns on a bed of lettuce…” etc. An excellent piece about the national dish of Peru: raw white fish “cooked” in lime juice and chilli. Delicious.
But I remember when a cholera epidemic gripped Lima, where the fish are brought in from the Pacific - and the city’s untreated sewage is pumped back. Unsurprisingly, fish sales had plummeted and the industry faced ruin. An alarmed fisheries minister got straight on to national television to reassure Peruvians there was no danger. To prove it he ate a huge bowl of ceviche in front of the cameras, live. The following morning he was rushed to hospital with cholera. (c) Times Newspapers Ltd, 2008
All I want for my birthday is my video back, I really miss it. I am rifling through back numbers of Broadcast as one does, reading about how in April alone, people ordered 20 million programmes using iPlayer and how smug old C4/Hardcash have managed to win a ‘landmark six figure sum’ from West Midland Constabulary for that Dispatches Undercover Mosque documentary.
Is that all? Six figures, it’s hardly a landmark. Now Ofcom fining ITV £5.8m, that’s an eye watering landmark which ITV shareholders won’t forget in a hurry. But a paltry £150K probably represents a day’s takings from a B road speed camera. Anyway I digress, I miss my video. Listen to this, the BBC is now planning to plant ‘Minisodes’ (sic) on the web ahead of each weekly Panorama prog to boost audience and reach younger viewers.
Minisodes! I can’t keep up with the jargon anymore. The other day Simon, one of my techie colleagues, asked if I wanted to download or stream. ‘No thanks,’ I said, ‘I’ve just been.’ (Don’t worry, he didn’t get it either) Anyway. I want my vid back. I don’t need HD or Blueray and I hate iPlayer, SkyPlayer, C4OD, VoD for my job, because they don’t do what I want, or if they do, its only there for a week,. What about Sky+? True, it is easy to use, but I can’t download the stuff to keep. And if I do have a DVD, I find it hard to locate things. My old Video archive was easy. I could take the cassette out of the recorder. Review it, I could write on the spine. And joy, I ended up with a tape, which just went forwards and backwards fast or slow, instead of lurching and jumping all over the shop.
But, Hang on, this Slingbox thingy looks interesting. Just add broadband and you can watch your home TV on your lap top, where ever you are in the world. Umm –with the holiday season coming up …. On second thoughts all I want for my birthday is a Slingbox.
This made me laugh, its from Low Life: Jeremy Clarke’s column in the Spectator (9 Feb page 47). In the gents lavatory at my local pub, above the light switch, some wag has written the words ‘a light to lighten the genitals’ in black felt-tip pen. So at least one person who frequents the place is familiar enough with Luke’s gospel to try to make a pun out of it. But most other people, I suspect, assume that it’s just another health and safety notice.
I enjoyed Andrew Billen’s appreciation of Jeremy Beadle in the Times (page 11) today. He quoted Beadle’s warning at the Edinburgh TV Festival to those new to the game never to respond to the reporter who promises you the chance to “give your side of the story”. He said: “That means, ‘Kiss me because I am going to rape you anyway’.”
Good advice, but a bit rich coming from Beadle, who never asked the people he set up and there was no right of reply when he’d made a wally of them.
Did you watch Monarchy on BBC1 before Christmas. Fascinating. It was a brave decision of the Royals to let the cameras in. And it worked despite getting off to a very dodgy start which even resulted in the Controller BBC1 resigning (see below).
But there was one priceless moment when Prince Andrew all but lost his cool (>> 0:58 to 2:00) Watch his hands as he says one thing (through gritted teeth) but is so patently thinking something completely different. The camera never lies.
News Analysis: Gazing into the industry crystal ball 11 January 2008 From taking action to combat climate change to spotting the next agency to be snapped up and preparing for a shake-up in the recruitment industry - PRWeek readers predict what 2008 has in store for them. JOHN STONBOROUGH, founder, John Stonborough & Co ‘I guarantee that despite spending over half a million quid of licence payers’ money to send 16,500 employees on a Truth Recognition course, the BBC will be engulfed in another fact fiddling scandal in 2008.’
Well that’s it. Happy Christmas and my special thanks to Taz, Jane R, Ian, Jerry, Roger, Les, Stuart, Joan and Viktoria as well as Vickie, Sara, Rob, Heidi, Jonny and David and everybody else who helped make 2007 another great laugh-packed year.
The Editors’ Code of Practice Committee, which writes and revises the voluntary code of standards overseen by the Press Complaints Commission, has launched its own website: http://www.editorscode.org.uk
A major feature of the site is a digital version of The Editors’ Codebook, the official handbook to the Code, first published in 2004 jointly by the Newspaper Publishers Association, the Newspaper Society, the Periodical Publishers Association, the Scottish Daily Newspaper Society and the Scottish Newspaper Publishers Association.
Don’t go ‘off the record’. But if you are prepared to put your career or reputation at risk, take precautions.
Misjudgements can have dire - even terrible - consequences. There’s probably no more tragic example than the off-the record briefing that the weapons scientist, Dr David Kelly, gave to the BBC journalist Andrew Gilligan. Gilligan did his best to keep Kelly’s name secret but, as we know, he failed, and Kelly died. The chairman and chief executive of the BBC also lost their jobs.
But even at a much more humdrum level ask yourself:
1 Is this journalist known to you.
2 Does this journalist need you in future and do you need them.
3 Have you discussed and agreed in advance what is to be off the record. AND …
4 Have you discussed how you are going to be described (attribution).
You will have seen phrases like ‘ a close family friend’ in the papers every day. A ‘family friend’ is either the person themselves or someone with access. A ‘friend’ is often no such thing. A ‘source close to … (the Prince, the White House, the Chairman) is the person themselves or their official spokesman. A Whitehall Insider might be a very senior civil servant etc. How’s this one from the FT this week: “ ….an unamed Permanent Secretary, who is a knight and runs a major depatment” said ….
If you don’t agree the attribution in advance it may only be minutes before you are outed. Have a look at the latest ruling by the PCC (Press Complaints Commission) and you will see what I mean. It made no difference to the unfortunate mortuary worker that he was not quoted or identified, There were only 2 people working there, the other was his boss! Whoops. Having the PCC tick the offending paper off will make not a jot of difference. His ignorance of the way the media work will haunt him for a long time.
If I was American or some other feisty nationality I would have just asked Sir Paul McCartney’s divorce lawyer Fiona Shackleton what she thought of Heather Mills’ outburst on GMTV. But no, I’m so sort of British, that when I bumped into her and her husband at the Caprice that night, I just mumbled a few inanities.
Pathetic! So what did you think of Heather’s outburst? I bet you didn’t see it all and what’s more I bet you have an opinion! Just like everybody else. But I’ll tell you something, even if they don’t much like her, I suspect there is more sympathy out there for the way she’s been treated by the press, than people let on.
I hear that Phil Hall, her PR man (he and I started out as reporters on the Dagenham Post together) resigned. What a pity, she needs all the PR advice she can get now. Its not a job for the faint hearted. Colleagues say its PR mission impossible.
Heather needs to belt up for a bit. Paul needs to settle this divorce fast – please God lets have no custody battle with pictures of their daughter being dragged out of her mother’s home. And that certain section of the media might want to reconsider baiting Heather – because once she’s got a few million in the bank, she will go to the European Court. Hell hath no fury etc…. and they don’t come much more scorned than Heather Mills McCartney.
I wonder if this will make you chuckle as it did me. The nanny state ‘alive and coughing’, as a mate of mate of mine put it. Bonfire Night Smog Warning. If it does not click through to the Defra website and you get an error message, try pressing F5.
I’d never heard of Peter Serafinowiczbut there is a good PR case study about him in Saturday’s Daily Mail: The BBC’s hottest new comedy star Peter Serafinowicz yesterday abandoned an attempt to use the Human Rights Act to stop newspapers revealing his grandfather was the first man in Britain to face a trial for Nazi war crimes. I have no access to the full facts but I wonder if Peter Serafinowiczfeels that trying to gag the Mail, using the privacy provisions of the Human Rights Act, was probably a mistake. It certainly highlights the differences between a legal route and PR, when dealing with negative publicity.
Had he sought my advice, I’d have told him that nobody can be censured for the sins of a dead grandfather, let alone not wanting to talk about it. This is 99.9% born out by the reader’s comments which accompany the online story.
A short statement to the Daily Mail registering dismay, which I believe he feels, would probably have dealt with it. Instead his lawyers failed to silence the Mail, providing all the justification needed for a smug twist to a hideous allegation and possibly a fat bill too.
Dear Diary, Nearly fell off bike at 5.12pm yesterday. Was riding home, half on the pavement as usual, opp Green Park listening to the PM prog and enjoying Eddie Mair’s utterly butterly style, when in walked BBC COO Caroline Thomson. La Topspin had presumably been sent to studio S1 to ‘draw a line under the Fincham resignation’. i.e. Get in and get it over with as quickly as possible, and don’t worry, Eddie isn’t John.
She was doing well in an icy way when EM slipped her a classic Mair Omega 3 capsule question along the lines of:
“would it be a good idea if all broadcasters had to agree to a code of practice on editorial standards?”
Caroline seemed stunned. What follows is slightly abridged or had a Wafflectomy as its known.
“(pause) Um, I think that might be an interesting idea, we do have a sort of code of practice in Ofcom …in that Ofcom would be the appropriate body - Ofcom do have a code of practice that they hold us to … so in a sense it exists already .. but it’s an interesting issue we should look at.”
A word in your shell-like Dear, but the BBC already have 226 pages of advice and mandatory instructions to all BBC staff and contractors, stuffed with things about values, accuracy and lots more besides. Its called the BBC Editorial Guidelines. There is even a link to it on this page.
If you would like to hear the int in full then go to http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/noscript.shtml?/radio/aod/radio4_aod.shtml?radio4/pm, its about 10 mins in. But take care if you are riding a bike.
My thanks to Mrs DF of Wimborne, Dorset for pointing out that my Air Supremacy website needs updating. Actually, its crashed and is in the garage so to speak. Should be back on the information highway shortly.
I media trained Anita Roddick. Must be well over ten years ago and we managed to have a row right from the start. I had been called in to gnaw over the issue of animal testing. The Body Shop always claimed they did no animal testing on their products. But of course, these were weasel words. They may not have done any animal testing, but some of the ingredients that make up their products have to have been animal tested by law– or they did then.
The company was uncomfortable with this and needed to work out a defence. So I was summoned to the Body Shop HQ somewhere behind Oxford Street to give Anita a hard time.
Anybody who met Anita Roddick will know that giving Anita a hard time was rash, even when she said, ‘John, I want you to give me a hard time.’ But I did and she bit right back. Nobody was going to attack her integrity, even when the company themselves were paying me to do it..
‘OK old girl’, I thought to myself, pulling a half used bottle of my wife’s Body Shop moisturiser out of my pocket. I’ll get you now!’
‘Right, while I’ve got you here Anita, just explain how you can justify saying this stuff contains 100% natural ingredients and charge (I don’t remember how much) when its actually 70% water?
‘Well, water’s natural isn’t it,’ she replied quick as flash.
Normally I don’t give a damn, despite the fact that I have met most of players. But on this occasion, it didn’t need the Daily Mail to tell me that a great many people were aghast at the Duchess of Cornwall attending the Princess Diana Memorial on Friday. Until this row, people were getting used to Camilla – about the worst thing anyone’s said is that she is a bit idle. And Prince Charles has seemed much happier since he married her. The End, at last of a ghastly chapter and nothing to think about until the Succession.
And then Clarence House and the Prince set off this Category 5 PR balls up. It wasn’t hate mail they were getting by the sack load, it was post from a shocked populace. How could Camilla possibly attend the memorial – (I don’t think I need to re-hash the circumstances) Yes it was sweet of her husband to want his wife at his side, yes it was sweet of the princes to want to show a kind of family unity by inviting her – though I wonder what they really think. But no it wasn’t sweet or clever of Clarence House even to countenance it for a moment. Saving clients (be they aspirant kings, top politicians or CEO’s) from their own stupidity is a fundamental PR job. Its not easy and I should know. Being an advisor is not a popularity contest and you should be prepared to resign if you truly believe a course of action to be foolhardy, criminal or as in this instance, perverse.
Please, I kept saying to myself, please can Camilla have a diplomatic snuffle, a cough, shingles, anything, on the day and so avoid being there. Better still (and more honest) would be to have issued a short statement saying that it would not be appropriate to attend. The country would have appreciated that and her tenuous popularity enhanced. I am sure all this was discussed endlessly but nobody had the balls to stand up to the Prince himself and say, either she stays home chum, or I leave the job.
Today I read that The Spirit of Wisdom and Good Sense in the shape of our Queen has stepped in. She may not have liked Diana much, but she wasn’t about to allow another hate fest against her eldest son’s second wife – something he seemed quite prepared to allow, perhaps because as he once told me, he never reads the papers. Get reading, Sir.
That last blog, back in May (I know I know, time just slips by) was very prescient. Who would have believed that the BBC and the other broadcasters would stumble so badly in the weeks since then? Even Blue Peter for Heaven’s sake tried to scam a quiz result and who couldn’t fail to be shocked when somebody doctored a bit of film about the Queen! I hear some old geezers (like me) who worked at the Beeb in the dim distant, chundering on about producers nowadays not coming from a BBC news and current affairs background. But that is no excuse, doctoring the evidence is doctoring the evidence what ever background you come from. It makes you wonder just how much else is fiddled with now that whole programmes are edited on lap tops on the kitchen table. And you know, I find spicing up the truth with a pinch of salt much more serious than pretending that somebody has won a phone-in quiz, when they haven’t. Why?, because that is, often as not, done out of panic as a live show unravels. But to sit in front of a pc and wilfully and maliciously shift the truth a nudge to the left or right with a mouse. That is in a wholly different league.
What with moving offices and travelling I have not had time to write, but have a glance at the May 8 Ofcom adjudication about the nursery school. If you need proof that the BBC doctors their evidence, and what’s more Ofcom sanctioned it - then read page 20. I am always nervous of the ‘end justifies the means’ excuse, especially where we (the viewer) is kept in the dark. In this case the programme makers shifted some dialogue by a few seconds - but we weren’t told. And while I am on the subject, Ofcom seem to have taken the BBC’s word that the original whistleblowers were ‘credible’. I don’t know that they weren’t but I want to be re-assured that the Ofcom Fairness Committee investigated sufficiently to justify the secret filming. (see page 44 onwards BBC Editorial Guidelines)
What is the German for schadenfreude? It’s so integral to our British psyche, we don’t have a word for it. Do the French? Or do they, like us, use the German for want of anything better. Literally it means Harm-Joy, but loses something in translation.
As you and I know, schadenfreude (sound the last letter, so not as in Sigmund) is that gorgeous feeling of self-satisfaction at another’s misfortune. Nothing too serious mind, the British don’t laugh at grief and tragedy - like the MOD’s PR handling of the Navy’s Iran hostage crisis. What we are talking about are life’s little banana skins and surely the big PR banana prize this month (so far) must go to Sir Michael Lyons, newly appointed Chairman of the BBC Trust (£140,000pa). He is the man who at his first press conference told those Attack Jessies, the Media Correspondents, ‘I probably at the moment sample rather more radio than TV’. And not content in lowering himself straight into their feeding bowls, he compounded it by coming up with three TV programmes he did like (er, had heard of), of which one was on rival ITV and the other on Channel 4. HaHaHaHa!
Don’t get me wrong, my schadenfreude is not directed at his gaff but at the PR people who MUST have been minding him. Did nobody think to ask him before the conference, what his favourite BBC telly progs might be and if he answered Quatermass and the Lone Ranger, then suggest he say. “I watch the News and my wife loves anything with Lenny Henry and Red Nose Day”. Untrue perhaps but a major improvement none the less.
But then I wonder if this is the same lot of advisors who came up with this quote in the official BBC/10 Downing Street release announcing his appointment : “It is a great privilege to be appointed Chairman of the BBC Trust,” Sir Michael said. “As the BBC’s sovereign body, our duty is to ensure the public who pay for the BBC retain overall control of their BBC. As Chairman I will never lose sight of the public’s core expectations of editorial independence and quality programmes across television, radio and the internet which inform, educate and entertain. I look forward to the exciting challenges of the future and working with my colleagues on the Trust to ensure the BBC provides a quality service to justify the public’s continuing support.” “(Source: BBC press release, London, in English 5 Apr 07).” He never said any such thing. Some PRat wrote it for him. Sir Michael says things like ‘‘I probably at the moment sample rather more radio than TV. I’m an inveterate supporter of Radio 4. I wake up with the Today programme every morning. I am also a regular listener to Analysis and The Moral Maze.‘
Thank God, the man is an intellectual and not a dumbed down Toscar Winner after all.